A few too many

Caged up in the pressure of you
Trying to figure out what I did or did not do
Losing sleep over a month long dream
Fighting back a love sick scream

Its clear to me now that I fall too fast
But is that a reason to let a good thing pass?
All I've ever wanted is a chance to fly
But all I seem to hear is a different goodbye

"Hey baby, it's me not you..."
"Hey honey, its just something I cant do..."
"Maybe later we can try again..."

Just a few goodbyes from a few good men

My hands are tied as I look a head
I cant keep count of the tears I've shed
But every road is split and I stand confused
I seem to falter no matter which path I choose 

I'm not crazy but I do fall fast
Maybe that's why I'm getting passed
All I've ever wanted is a chance to fly 
But all I seem to hear is a different goodbye

"Hey baby, Its just not working out..."
"Hey honey, I can't quite figure us out..."
"Maybe later we can try again..."

Just a few goodbyes from a few good men

I have more remedies for broken hearts
Than the sky has room for falling stars
I revel in the days when I feel put together
And pray for a dose of something better

Falling fast is better than not taking chances
I'm a sucker for sly smiles and second glances
But they always seem to be from the wrong guy
And I'm left hearing a different goodbye

"Hey baby, I've found someone new..."
"Hey honey, she reminds me of you..."
"Maybe later we can try again..."

A few goodbyes from a few too many men

Blunt Knife

You’re a million miles away
Yet the distance makes you wonder
If the girl you once knew is okay
You pick up the phone and dial me
Say a few words in agony
As though I had called you…
You’re fishing for a compliment
Or maybe just an argument
To hear my familiar voice
You had no other choice….
You knew I would answer
Regardless of my current state of mind
Your emotions always rob me blind
Lift me up like star light
Then bring me down like rain
But you never mean to cause me pain
It’s just the memories I associate
The words I anticipate
The scenarios I carelessly create…
You’re the thunder that breaks the silence
In a relatively boring life
So I’m willing to take your call
I’m willing to sharpen that knife…

Oh Blogness....

It has been quite a while since I have updated. No reason in particular...just haven't had a lot of inspiration I suppose. Which can be a good thing considering I tend to be more verbal when I'm upset about something...or someone.

I was going through my writings that I keep in Word and the last 6 or so are unfinished and fleeting thoughts. I should really finish a couple of those. It frustrates me that I don't write as much as I used to, but I think it's the perfectionist in me. I have a hard time blogging about random thoughts of my everyday life. I'm always trying to write the "perfect" poem or thought.

I watched a poetry slam on TV the other night and now I want to attempt to write in that style. Very fast paced, emotionally raw, and rough around the edges. But I think someone would really have to piss me off in order for something like that to come alive. :)

small words

This is one of the first songs I ever wrote on my guitar. It's short, but it has chords and everything! :)

Some day you'll understand that small words can break a man
Small words can make you cry, make you worry and hurt your life

Don't try and fight me with words; it will only make me feel worse
Just try and yell at yourself and feel the pain like everyone else

Chorus:
Small words are easy to say, but they make me cry anyway
To see you say them with pain in your eyes hurts me more than you realize
So don't try and hide it, be a man and fight it
Just know that small words make me cry

Mean looks and nasty glares, they don't hurt me anywhere
But small words said to me, make me tremble and fall to my knees

We will cry the same tears; we might have the same fears
So try to feel it when I cry - don't turn around and say goodbye

Just nod and look pretty...

Just as soon as I learned to say no, I heard myself say yes again
I had pulled the dagger out and then I watched myself slip it back in

I may as well have fallen to my knees and begged to be used again
Flailing my arms in reverse surrender, the guilt of which I hold in

It took just one moment of weakness to feel falsely needed again
And it took just one familiar heckler to get me to jump in

When I found myself soaked in regret, I wanted to be strong again
But found that it is hard to demolish the side that lets frailty in

Regardless of any unnerving effects, I need to say no again
When NO starts to taste good, and people believe, that's when I'll let YES in...


Again...

Streamers on my microphone

I would be barefoot on an oriental rug
My hair would be wavy and longer than it's ever been
My toe nails would be bright pink as my feet danced around
I would feel alive
I would feel electric
I would tell the truth in metaphors

I would be barefoot on an oriental rug...

I would be the best rock star you've ever seen...

White Flag

Covered in chaos
Motivating silence
Turning my back on
Temporary violence

My feelings are useless
My emotions are raw
Camouflaged surrender
Back against the wall