This is one of the first songs I ever wrote on my guitar. It's short, but it has chords and everything! :)
Some day you'll understand that small words can break a man
Small words can make you cry, make you worry and hurt your life
Don't try and fight me with words; it will only make me feel worse
Just try and yell at yourself and feel the pain like everyone else
Chorus:
Small words are easy to say, but they make me cry anyway
To see you say them with pain in your eyes hurts me more than you realize
So don't try and hide it, be a man and fight it
Just know that small words make me cry
Mean looks and nasty glares, they don't hurt me anywhere
But small words said to me, make me tremble and fall to my knees
We will cry the same tears; we might have the same fears
So try to feel it when I cry - don't turn around and say goodbye
Monday, June 21, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Just nod and look pretty...
Just as soon as I learned to say no, I heard myself say yes again
I had pulled the dagger out and then I watched myself slip it back in
I may as well have fallen to my knees and begged to be used again
Flailing my arms in reverse surrender, the guilt of which I hold in
It took just one moment of weakness to feel falsely needed again
And it took just one familiar heckler to get me to jump in
When I found myself soaked in regret, I wanted to be strong again
But found that it is hard to demolish the side that lets frailty in
Regardless of any unnerving effects, I need to say no again
When NO starts to taste good, and people believe, that's when I'll let YES in...
Again...
I had pulled the dagger out and then I watched myself slip it back in
I may as well have fallen to my knees and begged to be used again
Flailing my arms in reverse surrender, the guilt of which I hold in
It took just one moment of weakness to feel falsely needed again
And it took just one familiar heckler to get me to jump in
When I found myself soaked in regret, I wanted to be strong again
But found that it is hard to demolish the side that lets frailty in
Regardless of any unnerving effects, I need to say no again
When NO starts to taste good, and people believe, that's when I'll let YES in...
Again...
Monday, June 14, 2010
Streamers on my microphone
I would be barefoot on an oriental rug
My hair would be wavy and longer than it's ever been
My toe nails would be bright pink as my feet danced around
I would feel alive
I would feel electric
I would tell the truth in metaphors
I would be barefoot on an oriental rug...
I would be the best rock star you've ever seen...
My hair would be wavy and longer than it's ever been
My toe nails would be bright pink as my feet danced around
I would feel alive
I would feel electric
I would tell the truth in metaphors
I would be barefoot on an oriental rug...
I would be the best rock star you've ever seen...
Saturday, June 12, 2010
White Flag
Covered in chaos
Motivating silence
Turning my back on
Temporary violence
My feelings are useless
My emotions are raw
Camouflaged surrender
Back against the wall
Motivating silence
Turning my back on
Temporary violence
My feelings are useless
My emotions are raw
Camouflaged surrender
Back against the wall
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Summertime
Summers hold very fond memories for me and as I get older I crave them even more, although they have significantly changed.
There were the summers when I was youngest and my parents sent my brother and I to summer recreation. There were definitely days we didn't want to go, but I can't help but happily recall time spent there. I remember the big brown thermos of lemonade my mom often sent with us to share at lunch with my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. The smell of these treats still bring me back to those days. Recreation is where I learned to play Four-Square and hopscotch. It's where I jumped on stage every single Friday to participate in the dance contest - where I inevitably performed the same routine every week. And then of course, there was the summer I was crowned "Little Miss Summer Recreation." I remember I was shocked when my mom let me bring my best dress with me that day to perform.
Other summers were spent with my grandmother who lived with us and I was able to play with all of my neighborhood friends. We practically lived in our bathing suits and ran back and forth between the two houses with pools. I was more tan than I will ever be in my life. Alex and Tasha were my partners in crime as we played our own made up games in tree houses and bedrooms that we imagined to be class rooms and very important offices that we were in charge of.
I could go on forever describing in detail the games we played and the secrets we kept. There were long bike rides, visits to the park and Rollerblade races down Alex's steep driveway. But there were also days of great boredom with "nothing to do" that now I see as a luxury I would love to have again.
When I was 13 we moved to a new house and left my old friends behind. My brother was now driving and I was often left alone during the summer. Those were the summers of music. I fell in love with Broadway musicals and choreographed routines to Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Coat (Donny Osmond version) and Annie. My family probably doesn't even know to what extent I went to learn all of the words and how I took over the entire downstairs area. I also used to set up a little recorder by the piano and belt out songs all afternoon. That is how I learned the "oldies" as I played the sheet music from my mom's collection. Up Where We Belong, Let it Be, and Five Foot Two were some of my favorites. This is also the time when I wanted to be like Rosie O'Donnell. (This was of course when she was "Queen of Nice" and...funny) I was going to have "The Beth Terry Show" and I practiced in my room with invisible celebrities.
In between the changes of my summers, there were always family vacations and special outings. Babysitting my cousin, sleepovers, church camp, VBS and other things my parents let me go to. And of course, I was always the geeky one who anticipated the return of school. Not only did it mean new clothes, but fresh new school supplies - something I still have a weird obsession with.
When I turned 16 I had my first taste of freedom as I was able to basically go where I wanted within reason. I was the only one of my friends who had a car, so we often found ourselves just driving around because we could. The road was there and we needed to travel it...even if it led us to the mall four times a week.
I'm not sure what provoked this soliloquy of summers past, but I know I appreciate them much more now that they are not quite the same. Summers are more of a business objective and there is really no separation through out the months. But I revel in my ability to not be limited in when vacations can be planned. They don't have to be summer getaways anymore, they can be Fall or Spring. Broadway musicals can still be performed in my house...just perhaps with a little less enthusiasm to spare the neighbors.
I certainly miss days of unplanned adventures and flip-flop tans, but am pleased at how my summers essentially helped shape who I am today. Eclectic memories of my summer soul.
There were the summers when I was youngest and my parents sent my brother and I to summer recreation. There were definitely days we didn't want to go, but I can't help but happily recall time spent there. I remember the big brown thermos of lemonade my mom often sent with us to share at lunch with my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. The smell of these treats still bring me back to those days. Recreation is where I learned to play Four-Square and hopscotch. It's where I jumped on stage every single Friday to participate in the dance contest - where I inevitably performed the same routine every week. And then of course, there was the summer I was crowned "Little Miss Summer Recreation." I remember I was shocked when my mom let me bring my best dress with me that day to perform.
Other summers were spent with my grandmother who lived with us and I was able to play with all of my neighborhood friends. We practically lived in our bathing suits and ran back and forth between the two houses with pools. I was more tan than I will ever be in my life. Alex and Tasha were my partners in crime as we played our own made up games in tree houses and bedrooms that we imagined to be class rooms and very important offices that we were in charge of.
I could go on forever describing in detail the games we played and the secrets we kept. There were long bike rides, visits to the park and Rollerblade races down Alex's steep driveway. But there were also days of great boredom with "nothing to do" that now I see as a luxury I would love to have again.
When I was 13 we moved to a new house and left my old friends behind. My brother was now driving and I was often left alone during the summer. Those were the summers of music. I fell in love with Broadway musicals and choreographed routines to Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Coat (Donny Osmond version) and Annie. My family probably doesn't even know to what extent I went to learn all of the words and how I took over the entire downstairs area. I also used to set up a little recorder by the piano and belt out songs all afternoon. That is how I learned the "oldies" as I played the sheet music from my mom's collection. Up Where We Belong, Let it Be, and Five Foot Two were some of my favorites. This is also the time when I wanted to be like Rosie O'Donnell. (This was of course when she was "Queen of Nice" and...funny) I was going to have "The Beth Terry Show" and I practiced in my room with invisible celebrities.
In between the changes of my summers, there were always family vacations and special outings. Babysitting my cousin, sleepovers, church camp, VBS and other things my parents let me go to. And of course, I was always the geeky one who anticipated the return of school. Not only did it mean new clothes, but fresh new school supplies - something I still have a weird obsession with.
When I turned 16 I had my first taste of freedom as I was able to basically go where I wanted within reason. I was the only one of my friends who had a car, so we often found ourselves just driving around because we could. The road was there and we needed to travel it...even if it led us to the mall four times a week.
I'm not sure what provoked this soliloquy of summers past, but I know I appreciate them much more now that they are not quite the same. Summers are more of a business objective and there is really no separation through out the months. But I revel in my ability to not be limited in when vacations can be planned. They don't have to be summer getaways anymore, they can be Fall or Spring. Broadway musicals can still be performed in my house...just perhaps with a little less enthusiasm to spare the neighbors.
I certainly miss days of unplanned adventures and flip-flop tans, but am pleased at how my summers essentially helped shape who I am today. Eclectic memories of my summer soul.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Lightning Storm
Lost my heart in a lightning storm
Flying home before the rain could form
Never thought I could be so high
But feel so low in that dark black sky
When the city lights began to shine below
I felt like someone I didn’t even know
I should have been strong but I caved
My emotions have never been well-behaved
It was simply goodbye from the start
And this is why I have lost my heart
Flying home before the rain could form
Never thought I could be so high
But feel so low in that dark black sky
When the city lights began to shine below
I felt like someone I didn’t even know
I should have been strong but I caved
My emotions have never been well-behaved
It was simply goodbye from the start
And this is why I have lost my heart
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Blank Walls...
I'm having trouble decorating my bedroom in my new apartment.
There seems to be a lot of pressure to make sure everything is coordinated. For now the only things on my walls are my diploma and a simple painting.
As I lay here visualizing what I want, I can't help but remember my walls of bedrooms past. There were Mickey mouse posters at the beginning, but from the ages of about 12-19 the theme was simple: Hot guys, cool bands and other weird things my friends and I made.
I believe it all started with a picture of Jonathan Taylor Thomas.
Then there was the collage of Leonardo DiCaprio...
The larger than life poster of George Clooney...
And my personal favorite...the door dedicated to Carson Daly.
Through the years there were posters of Blink 182, Garth Brooks (I know, I know), and the black and white photo collection of Elvis. And then of course there were the ever popular glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling.
Then something happened and it all came down. I painted my walls green, ordered a Tommy Hilfiger bedspread and tore down Carson from the back of my bedroom door. I was an "adult" and my tastes had changed. Suddenly I was matching my bedspread with special pillows I never laid my head on and putting away little reminders of my youth. But I liked the change and I liked the process of creating a reflection of who I was at that moment in my life.
Today my walls are essentially blank. I suppose it couldn't come at a better time. This move was a fresh start and now I can do what I want with this blank canvas. I think it's time to be bold. My room is MY room. An oasis that should make me happy and not follow any rules. If it is to be a reflection of this point in my life, then it should definitely be the best room yet. Taking chances, having fun, and learning to live life my own way.
There seems to be a lot of pressure to make sure everything is coordinated. For now the only things on my walls are my diploma and a simple painting.
As I lay here visualizing what I want, I can't help but remember my walls of bedrooms past. There were Mickey mouse posters at the beginning, but from the ages of about 12-19 the theme was simple: Hot guys, cool bands and other weird things my friends and I made.
I believe it all started with a picture of Jonathan Taylor Thomas.
Then there was the collage of Leonardo DiCaprio...
The larger than life poster of George Clooney...
And my personal favorite...the door dedicated to Carson Daly.
Through the years there were posters of Blink 182, Garth Brooks (I know, I know), and the black and white photo collection of Elvis. And then of course there were the ever popular glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling.
Then something happened and it all came down. I painted my walls green, ordered a Tommy Hilfiger bedspread and tore down Carson from the back of my bedroom door. I was an "adult" and my tastes had changed. Suddenly I was matching my bedspread with special pillows I never laid my head on and putting away little reminders of my youth. But I liked the change and I liked the process of creating a reflection of who I was at that moment in my life.
Today my walls are essentially blank. I suppose it couldn't come at a better time. This move was a fresh start and now I can do what I want with this blank canvas. I think it's time to be bold. My room is MY room. An oasis that should make me happy and not follow any rules. If it is to be a reflection of this point in my life, then it should definitely be the best room yet. Taking chances, having fun, and learning to live life my own way.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)