I have a lot of favorite books, most of which were written long ago. Every once in a while a new book will cross my path and spark my interest, but none have held my attention quite like Elizabeth Gilbert's
Eat Pray Love. I first read this book about a year ago, but I still think about it often. My copy is marked and tagged, worn and
read. I just feel compelled to write out and share my favorite part of this book. I don't think I really need to explain the plot or characters for anyone to fully understand or appreciate the passion behind these words. Just know that the author is heartbroken and she's receiving advice from a wise friend.
"...but I think the reason it's so hard for me to get over this guy is because I seriously believed David was my soul mate."
(Richard's response): "He probably was. Your problem is you don't understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Your problem is, you just can't let this one go. It's over. David's purpose was to shake you up, drive you out of that marriage that you needed to leave, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light could get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you had to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master and beat it. That was his job, and he did great, but now it's over. Problem is, you can't accept that this relationship had a real short shelf life..."
"But I love him."
"So love him."
"But I miss him."
"So miss him. Send him some love and light every time you think about him, and then drop it. You're just afraid to let go of the last bits of David because then you'll really be alone, and Liz Gilbert is scared to death of what will happen if she's really alone. But here's what you gotta understand: If you clear out all that space in your mind that you're using right now to obsess about this guy, you'll have a vacuum there, an open spot - a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with that doorway? It will rush in - God will rush in - and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed. So stop using David to block that door. Let it go."
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For the right person reading this (and I was the right person), those words can come at you like a semi. It can hit you hard, send you reeling and maybe even denying your own feelings. But sometimes you just need to be reminded that you are worth more than what you give yourself credit for. As for me, I'm always searching for the next big thing - which I am always hoping is my soul mate. I fall fast, I fall hard and then I blame myself if it doesn't work out. It's time to be grateful for the people who come and go...let them breathe new life and accept it. Don't spit it out when they are gone.
Anyone on a spiritual journey of any kind should read this book. Don't watch the movie and expect to receive the same message. You need to fold yourself into the words - separate them into piles of the ones that affect you the most. Read them again and again. Share them even. Let the words hurt you a little - it might break you down but it's in those moments that you can truly find out what is important to you.
