Word Torches

She writes the words as if they are little torches of fire burning in her mind. Without their release there will certainly be torture and a dispute among those who wrote them before – or simply those who placed them in her head to begin with. She’s not always looking for the final resolution - just looking to rid herself of an urge; an urge that refuses to subside, no matter how hard she tries. Sometimes these thoughts paralyze her. She knows she needs to form them into sanity, but she freezes at the most inopportune time and every idea gets shot to hell, or to the depths of her mind – however you wish to metaphorically draw it out. The depth of her soul is probably not as torturous as she would like others to believe, however, she wants to express herself as though it was. She’s protecting herself from something that hasn’t even happened yet – or maybe it’s something that never goes away. These words linger in her for days and weeks at a time and she hates fragmented sentences, so she doesn’t put them down for anyone to see. When the words finally start bleeding, the perfectionist inside her says it isn't good enough and often times innocent thoughts get swept away as though they never existed.

I've finally learned to speak even if it doesn't make sense. To write it down now and understand it later. Sift through the memory banks and record what I remember. I can't keep what I love most inside me. I have a strange fascination with words and the formation of thoughts...it's time I start expressing that sentiment more often.